Amigas, can we talk about how hard it is to ask for help & how isolating it feels as a first-gen Latina? I recently ran into an unexpected issue & truly did not know what I was going to do. I’m sharing it because I think a lot of us know this feeling more than we admit.
As a therapist, I will be the first to say it’s hard to stay positive & focus on our circle of control even though we talk about it all the time. In that moment I felt like I had no control at all & knowing the tools is very different from being able to use them when your own nervous system is overwhelmed. My profession is to help others & yet it did not save me from feeling stuck.
What surprised me most is that my loved ones were more than willing to help. They checked in, they offered, they made it clear I wasn’t a bother & it felt like this was solely my battle & no one else’s so I figured I had to handle it alone. I think that comes from watching our parents handle everything quietly without asking anyone for anything because they didn’t have the luxury of leaning on others. I think that another layer to this was being taught that no one ever needed to know our struggles. Somewhere along the way we learned that being strong means doing it all ourselves & that needing help is a burden we put on other people.
Being surrounded by people who love you & still feeling completely alone is a real & very human experience.. We were taught a different lesson about what asking for help costs.
I’m still practicing, but here’s what I’m trying to remember: asking for help doesn’t take away your strength. It lets the people who love you actually love you and if you can’t lean on family for this then lean on your chosen people, a trusted friend or a therapist. They can hold some of it with you.
Be gentle with yourself, amiga. We deserve support, not just the strength to survive without it.
