Okay amigas, real talk. There has always been this fear in the back of our minds that something could potentially happen. If you grew up in an immigrant household you know the rules: don’t open the door if you don’t know who it is & do not involve the police. Lately it feels like that fear has multiplied. It is scary to leave the house. It is scary to even look at social media. Some of us are on Facebook checking posts to see if anyone saw ICE nearby so we know where to avoid & honestly, when did that become normal??
On one hand, we should be careful because God forbid something were to happen. On the other hand, it is unfair to have to live in a constant state of fear/panic. We should be able to live our lives without constantly looking over our shoulders. Both are true at the same time & holding them together is exhausting.
If I put on my therapist hat on for a sec, this is actually called hypervigilance. It is when your body stays on high alert because it learned that the people you love might not be safe. Your nervous system is just trying to protect you, which makes sense, pero it can leave you anxious, exhausted, not sleeping well or unable to ever fully relax. Imagine trying to go about your day when you never feel safe. Imagine being unable to pick up your child from school because of what could potentially happen.
& it is not fair. It is not fair that so many of us, our parents especially, have to plan our days around fear. You are allowed to be mad about that & you are allowed to be tired.
Pero I also want to leave you with something practical. Many of our parents cannot vote so for those of us who can & choose to, it is one way of using our voice for the people we love. Here is a quick reminder for my NJ amigas: Election Day in New Jersey is Tuesday, November 3rd & polls are open from 6 am to 8 pm. You can find your Election Day polling place here: https://voter.svrs.nj.gov/polling-place-search aclu-njaclu-nj
If your body has been on edge lately, please be gentle with yourself. You are not dramatic, your reactions make sense & you do not have to carry this alone. Lean on your people & your community. Take breaks from the news when you need to & consider reaching out to a therapist who understands what it means to grow up like this.
We cannot lose hope. We deserve to feel safe.
