I'm Not Spicy, I'm a Person

I made that post about being a "spicy Latina" & I've been sitting with it, so let's actually talk about it because there's a lot more underneath that word than people realize.

Let's start here: how does it feel when men call us spicy? Weird, honestly and reductive. It feels especially off when it's coming from a white man because there's this ew factor to it, like we already know exactly what he's picturing & it has nothing to do with who we actually are as people.

Society seems to expect us to be these little firecrackers, these exotic, hypersexual women who exist to be fiery & fun & available. I keep asking myself, why? Because I'm a human being with feelings? Some of those feelings happen to include anger or passion or intensity sure, but that's called being a person with a nervous system & a personality. There are not personality traits that exist for someone else's entertainment.

Also, just because reggaeton usually centers around themes of sex does not mean the entire Latina population is out here just begging for it. That leap is honestly disrespectful when you sit with it because it reduces an entire group of women, with entire inner worlds, families, careers, griefs, joys, into a stereotype that's convenient for other people to project onto us.

Now, on the flip side, I know some women embrace the spicy label & genuinely, that's great for them. If that word feels empowering or fun or true to who they are, that's their experience & their choice to make. I am not here to tell anyone how to feel about their own identity.

But for me, personally, I am not a spice. I am not a pepper. I am not a thing.

As Latinas, we are women with valid, complicated, real emotions that deserve to be heard. We should not reduced down to “oh, she's just spicy.” (gtfoh 🙂)

We contain multitudes, just like anyone else. We get to be soft, angry, tired, joyful, ambitious, messy & any other feeling you can list amiga 🫶🏼